Dissociation Reimagined: Honoring the Inner World of Therapist & Child

Lessons from the Playroom Podcast Ep. 196

Dissociation Reimagined: Honoring the Inner World of Therapist & Child

Lessons from the Playroom Podcast Ep. 196

In this powerful and deeply human episode, Lisa is joined by two internationally recognized leaders in the field of complex trauma and dissociation—Ana Gómez and Jill Hosey—for a heartfelt conversation about their monumental new release: The Handbook of Complex Trauma and Dissociation in Children.

More than just a book discussion, this episode offers a reverence-based reframe of dissociation—not as pathology, but as a brilliant, adaptive survival strategy used by children navigating overwhelming experiences. Ana and Jill share their personal insights from editing this groundbreaking 900+ page volume, which weaves together theory, research, clinical case work, and embodied practices from over 60 contributors.

Together, they explore the profound responsibility therapists carry—not only to understand dissociation in their clients but to honor how it arises in their own inner worlds. You’ll hear candid reflections on what it means to be a regulated presence in the therapy room, how fear of dissociation may show up in clinicians, and how co-regulation becomes the foundation for relational healing.

Whether you’re just beginning to explore the topic of dissociation or are a seasoned trauma therapist, this episode invites you to shift from fear to curiosity—from fragmentation to integration.

💡 Key Topics Include:

  • Why The Handbook is the first of its kind in the field
  • Dissociation as a creative, protective superpower
  • Therapist nervous system responses and the importance of co-regulation
  • Misdiagnosis, marginalization, and what happens when dissociation is misunderstood
  • The emotional labor of this work—for both therapist and client
  • A call to action for deeper training, relational attunement, and self-reflection

📘 The Handbook of Complex Trauma and Dissociation in Children is available through Routledge, Amazon, Caversham Booksellers (Canada), and other major online retailers.

Episode Transcript
[Music] Hi everyone, welcome to the next episode 0:09 from the Lessons from the Playroom podcast. Hi everyone. I have two uh powerhouses uh with me today. Uh both 0:17 who have put together a significant contribution to understanding 0:24 dissociation. And so uh they are going to unpack 0:30 uh their journey on creating the handbook of complex trauma and 0:35 dissociation in children uh which is a new volume that has just been released. 0:41 If you don’t know who I’m talking about yet um I have with me the fabulous Anna 0:47 Gomez and the fabulous Jill Hosy. Um and uh and we’re just going to get into it. 0:53 So I’m going to share a little bit more about these two powerhouses and then we are going to delve into the world of 1:02 dissociation. So everyone they are both internationally recognized experts in 1:08 complex trauma dissociation and intergenerational trauma with a shared focus on healing across the lifespan. 1:15 Anna is the founder and director of the um AA institute in in Phoenix, Arizona. 1:20 She’s a psychotherapist, author, international speaker who’s trained thousands of clinicians worldwide, a 1:27 fellow of the international society for the study of trauma and dissociation. She’s a leading authority in EMDR 1:33 therapy and the author of EMDR therapy and adjunct approaches with children EMDR sandbased therapy which is coming 1:40 out Anna when’s it coming out? August 13th. Oh no, later this year amazing. Um 1:47 her work has earned multiple awards including the Francine Shapiro award uh from Amria. Jill is a registered social 1:54 worker and psychotherapist in Toronto, Canada and Rhode Island USA specializing 1:59 in trauma therapy across the lifespan. An em anria approved consultant and 2:04 trainer with the AGA Institute faculty uh with the ISSTD. She’s known for her 2:10 work integrating the safe and sound protocol into EMDR therapy. She’s also 2:15 extensively trained in the SEID D for assessing dissociative disorders. 2:22 Ladies, that’s a mouthful for both of you. Uh together they are the co-editors and contributing authors of the handbook 2:29 for complex trauma and dissociation in children which we are going to get into. 2:35 Thank you so much both of you for taking the time uh to talk to me, but more 2:41 importantly, thank you for the number of hours. I don’t think 2:46 people probably really can understand and appreciate your for those of you that can’t see them right now. They’re 2:52 both laughing as I just said that the number of hours that it took to put this 2:58 book together. So, I just want to welcome you both and thank you both. So 3:05 hello as you say this yes my my body is responding to it I have to share 3:13 something quite funny. Um so I was looking at my email and looking for Jill 3:20 and somehow this window popped up saying you have shared 6,400 emails within the 3:28 last three and a half almost four years. So I just want you to, you know, that 3:34 will give you a perspective. You know, we should get like frequent flyer miles or something for the number of emails 3:41 because yeah, the level of communication and the level of work is it was 3:47 incredible though. It’s an incredible It was an incredible journey. Yeah. Jill, 3:52 anything you want to add to that? Oh, agreed. It it the level of coordination, communication, working together. It was 3:59 an incredible experience. hard work, incredible experience and journey. Yeah. So, we’re gonna dive into content, but 4:06 uh before we do, so for those of you that can actually see, I’m holding up the book. You’ll see it’s huge. For 4:12 those of you that are listening from just on audio, um Jill, will you share how many pages is this book that I’m 4:19 holding and how many contributing authors are there to this volume of work? So, there’s 96 pages. 900. Yeah. 4:29 And over 60 contributors that wrote chapters in diads, in triads, and in 4:35 groups. So over 60. Yeah. So let’s just even uh dive in a little bit. Um why is Why is this book so significant 4:41 this particular book so significant? Like why is it the first of its kind? 4:47 Let’s just start there. Jill, go for it. Okay. So this book 4:54 brings together um various aspects of working with children and dissociation 5:00 and complex trauma that oftent times you see separated. So in one place you often times don’t see um theory. So it’s it’s 5:08 pulling together theory, aspects of research, symptoms, how we understand and approach assessment, and then 5:15 translate that into case conceptualization, different treatment modalities, and 5:20 different treatment modalities that look at the mind and the body. So it’s it’s spanning all of these different areas of 5:28 child work as well as bringing in different aspects uh or different issues or things that may arise in the work. 5:34 And so for me, I think it’s really special because a it brings together what we often find as very disjointed or 5:43 dissociated um into one place where you can go and look for it. And it brings 5:49 together a variety of different experts in the field together collaborating. So 5:56 bringing their work and joining them in some way, integrating it in some way. 6:01 And you know, we have a handful of texts that focus on dissociation in children 6:09 specifically. We don’t have that much. And this is a new release um that’s come 6:15 out that is hoping to reinvigorate the field. Yeah, absolutely. Anna, do you Why is dissociation so important 6:22 want to say a little bit more about why the why the topic and why it so important that um this has come 6:29 together? Absolutely. So, first and foremost, I think this is a population that we’ve 6:35 dedicated a lifetime. Um, we’ve been in the trenches really working with very 6:42 complex clinical presentations and children exposed to developmental trauma, complex trauma, and of course, 6:49 they present with dissociation. But this is a topic that has been abandoned really by our field and not fully 6:56 recognized. So um a lot of the kids with more severe clinical presentations have 7:04 a hard time finding clinicians with the expertise and the knowledge of to 7:09 support them. So this is a a community that is the group of children that are highly marginalized and we have to 7:16 really um acknowledge the marginalization of of this 7:22 population. When you look at academia and when we look at graduate programs, 7:28 they don’t address severe traumatization and dissociation. So there is a lack of 7:34 acknowledgment and recognition of the importance of addressing this and 7:39 supporting the children that suffer the most and and have clinicians that are 7:47 well prepared and well trained to deliver a treatment that can support the 7:53 healing. So complex trauma, dissociation in and you know developmental trauma, we 7:59 can treat that. We can support the healing of these children, but our clinicians need to know how to and we 8:06 need to move into a a an era of a greater recognition that it exists and 8:13 that we can treat it. Because right now what we have is a misdiagnosis of a lot 8:19 of the symptoms associated with dissociation and um disproportionately these children 8:27 are um given a lot of psychotropic medication because people just don’t 8:33 know what it is. So let’s give them medication. So I think we have to do better and I think that part of writing 8:39 this and co-editing this book was about that. That was a shared um goal and 8:46 vision that this could become a milestone in the field and that can 8:51 bring greater awareness and understanding of how to support the 8:56 healing of these children. Yeah. Well, and I I love Jill what you were saying that in some ways the book, the way you 9:03 approached it is integrating the dissociative 9:08 theories or the the fragmentations of knowledge that exist in the field. And 9:14 this was actually an attempt at bringing them together and and integrating thought into into one place which is so 9:22 much also part of way to write a book that embodies the treatment. How do you conceptualize dissociation 9:30 That’s so great. So, I know that you both um have so much knowledge in your 9:35 backgrounds around this topic already and I’m curious of two things. One is I 9:42 know that dissociation isn’t viewed in the exact same way by everyone. So, I 9:47 would love to hear how you think about dissociation or how you conceptualize it. And then I would also love to hear 9:55 something that you learned putting this together that was actually either new or 10:01 helped you think about dissociation in a little bit of a different way. So let’s start with um how do you personally tend 10:09 to conceptualize dissociation and Joe let’s start with you. So for myself I start with from the 10:17 stance of okay so dissociation is about some semblance of detachment and 10:22 disconnection and then I hold inside that the ways in which the human mind 10:28 and body can disconnect or detach. In fact there’s multiple different ways 10:33 that we can do this. We can talk about dissociation as a process of disengaging from the present. We can also talk about 10:40 it as the ways in which the mind becomes structured and oriented or as a way of 10:45 managing and coping. And so when I think about dissociation, I start with okay, 10:51 disconnection, detachment, and now here’s this unique child or human in 10:57 front of me. And how can I understand the ways in which their mind and their 11:04 body uses this incredible superpower? Um, I try really hard to not bring the 11:13 concept or the theory to the client and figure out what am I hearing, what am I 11:18 seeing, what are others reporting, what’s being captured, and then I can go 11:24 out and say, okay, so is there a model or a theory that may help me think about this a little bit differently? But I 11:30 start from the place of disconnection and detachment and then lean in to figure out what does that even mean for 11:37 this unique being and go from there. Yeah, that’s beautiful. 11:42 Yeah. How do you think about it? So, so one of the things that I appreciate about this volume is the Shared reverence for dissociation 11:48 shared reverence for the association which we um don’t see it from a 11:55 pathizing perspective but as I was we together were editing the book I 12:02 couldn’t help it. There were moments where I was in tears and I will text uh 12:07 Jill and said, you know, I’m really moved right now and emotional to see so 12:13 many different authors that have years of experience and that they have 12:20 dedicated years to supporting the healing of these children. And so the 12:26 share reverence for dissociation, not as a pathological response, but instead is 12:32 is a brilliant um capacity of the embodied human mind to adapt to severe 12:41 traumatization, to adapt to impoverished relational 12:46 environments and to attain some level of homeostasis, right? And um to really sit 12:55 down with the brilliance of a child that not as a deficit but as a brilliant 13:03 strategy and capacity to adjust to pain and suffering and not only to adjust to 13:09 the suffering emerging from their relational ecosystem but to coexist with 13:16 the inner legacies of trauma. Um so that sheer reverence really touched me deeply 13:24 to think that this is the very best attempt of this child to survive that 13:32 that that for me really stood up throughout the process. So certainly we 13:38 there are so many definitions there are so many terms from poly traumatization to developmental trauma complex trauma 13:46 dissociation um and the field is not necessarily 13:52 unified but as Jill said yes it it hints into disengagement detachment and in 13:59 severe traumatization the compartmentalization of the mind the division of identity and it makes sense 14:06 I was sitting here editing, sitting for a minute minute and reflecting upon that 14:13 and wondering my goodness um how brilliant it is that it’s easier to coexist with a compartmentalized 14:21 autobiographical memory and life story than to live with it as a whole because 14:28 of how painful that is. because these children quite often are abused and hurt 14:36 and wounded within that sacred parent child relationship and interpersonal 14:42 important interpersonal relationship. So I think for me and this is what really stands out. 14:50 So, as you were editing these 60 chapters, 14:56 uh, uh, what was there something or a particular I don’t know, 15:03 I could only imagine that as you’re hearing different perspectives that your your own thinking expanded along the 15:10 way, even though you already had such a strong foundation, 15:15 what were some of those pieces that you read or that you that the putting the 15:21 book together really I don’t know just took you into a another realm of 15:27 appreciation or understanding. So for me as I was going through 15:33 everything I was struck by the multiple pathways that we can get to this place 15:40 of using dissociative coping. Um, I think sometimes, 15:47 and I think this is regular, we can sort of get stuck in one way of thinking and one way of conceptualizing and 15:53 understanding things. And as I was reading and editing the chapters, 15:58 it really what stood out for me and I gained a deeper understanding of are these different pathways through 16:05 attachment. The thing the aspects that we actually don’t talk about. So the quieter, more invisible forms of trauma 16:12 as a pathway to developing dissociative coping, the ways in which the body and 16:17 the nervous system is involved, the ways in which the mind it just it expanded my 16:24 way of thinking about it and brought many confusing moments of trying to take 16:32 a moment and gather myself and and really understand what I was reading. But what I walked away from was 16:40 this coping me, this strategy, this way of managing the intolerable, this way of 16:47 turning away from what we have no other way of managing or coping with, particularly as children. 16:54 Um, and all the different ways that we get there. And that stood out for me and 17:00 has transformed my practice. It’s expanded my thinking. When I show up and I’m working with someone, it’s I’m now 17:07 stopping and and thinking, okay, hold on. I now know there’s multiple different ways of getting to the same 17:13 place. What am I missing? I think that’s so beautiful because I do I think that we hear trauma and trauma 17:21 can or sorry, dissociation, but dissociation connected to this seemingly 17:26 huge massive, you know, thing. And uh and you’re you’re not not to say that 17:33 these sort of smaller you said unspoken traumas aren’t also big and massive, but 17:39 we don’t tend to talk about it in that way and that there are many I’m loving 17:45 what you’re saying that there’s many things that can be um that can register as traumatic that can lead to the 17:51 outcome of dissociation. and it doesn’t have to be this big big event that you 17:58 know we tend to focus on in the field. So thank you Jill for highlighting that 18:03 Anna what about you? Well, so many things I have a curious active mind, but 18:10 some of the things that were coming up for me. So, one is a new perspective of Diversity in the field 18:17 um dissociation not as something that we need to eliminate. 18:23 It’s about understanding because it’s really the very best attempt of the 18:30 child to accommodate to severe traumatization to chronic 18:36 exposure to trauma during sensitive especially sensitive periods of 18:42 development. and um to truly understand what’s underneath that this is the best 18:48 uh way of coping and and being part of that relationship and preserving the 18:55 relationship and being with that caregiver because again the survival depends upon that relationship. Um the 19:03 other piece that really came for me was to see the diversity that exist in our 19:08 field. This book really represents u kind of a baseline of where we are. 19:17 And it was incredible to see the advancements the all the work of this 19:25 shared wisdom and the work that many of the contributors have put. I mean for 19:30 many of them is a lifong um dedication. I mean they’ve dedicated 19:37 their lives to exploring complex trauma dissociation and working with this 19:42 population. So for me it was to see right in front of my eyes unfolding 19:47 where we are really where we are and to be proud of what we as a collective have 19:55 accomplished. On the other hand though, it was an opportunity for me and now for 20:02 the field to see where we need where are the gaps, right? Where are the places 20:08 where we need to do better because these children are still out there, you know, 20:13 going to school um in our neighborhoods and residential treatment facilities and 20:20 they may not be receiving the care that they deserve. and the movement of 20:26 traumainformed care really lacks the understanding of complex and 20:33 developmental trauma and dissociation. So I think this book also creates that 20:38 baseline for us to see okay there is work that needs to be done in every 20:43 single area from assessment to treatment 20:48 to you know how do we work systemically or individually. So there’s still a lot 20:53 of work to do. I remember uh one of the conversations Anna that you and I had What is the self 21:00 with respect to my chapter because we were talking about um uh similar language Jill that you 21:09 used around sort of detaching or moving away from the self. And I remember that 21:14 even prompted a conversation of well what is that? What is the self? like we’re talking about dissociation from 21:21 something, but the field hasn’t even figured out what this thing is that we’re moving away from or at least 21:28 they’re not in agreement about how we would, you know, describe it or talk about it. And I found that to be super 21:34 fascinating, just going off of Anna, what you’re saying of like, yes, like we’re still in this place of formulating 21:42 our understanding about these dynamics that exist within us and dynamics that 21:48 exist in the mind and and and all of that. I found that to be deeply riching 21:54 uh just as as a contributing author to go oh right even like there are things 22:00 we understand and there are things that we still don’t understand that we’re making assumptions and guesses right and guesses about totally totally and 22:08 sometimes there is not awareness of self so it’s not returning to self because 22:14 there’s no awareness of identity or who am I um I can’t tell you how many of my 22:21 clients of I mean across development and across the lifespan where they said to 22:27 me like what self I I don’t know it feels like this is an empty hole and 22:32 when you say self I don’t know what that is totally totally totally I think uh Biggest misconceptions 22:38 well I think we’re it’s highlighting the complexity right the complexity of the whole of the whole dynamic 22:44 um so as you were well you’ve this is 22:49 published You’ve both learned a lot in this journey. Your thinking about dissociation has expanded. What do you 22:56 think are some of the biggest either misunderstandings 23:02 or biggest things that you really wish clinicians that work with kids really 23:09 understood about the dissociative process? I’ve already heard a couple, which is that it’s it’s adaptive and 23:16 that it’s not pathological. And so we need to shift our paradigm away away from that. Uh but what like what else? 23:24 What’s what’s a big what what do you what do you what do you 23:29 hope does that make sense? Absolutely. For me um to two two responses. So the first 23:37 part is to not make the assumption that we can see dissociation as it emerges in 23:43 any space or place. That these are a series of internal experiences unique to 23:49 this person. And yeah, we can see behaviors. There are certain things that we can see that can be cues, indicators 23:57 of suspicion, but we actually can’t see the totality of dissociation. And so 24:03 that then brings me to the second part. Have to ask. We have to ask. Um so many of our 24:12 children, you know, even teens and adults, this is how they experience their 24:18 internal world. This is how they experience things. It’s what’s normative to them. So not only can we not assume 24:25 that we can see it and that it’s overt, but that someone is a child is going to 24:30 report it. We need to ask the question. We need to bring it into the space. I 24:36 can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a child or an adolescent say to me, “No 24:41 one has ever asked me this question.” And and once we show up and ask, then we 24:48 can start to learn about what their experience is, if dissociation is a way of coping, and what it actually means 24:56 for them. and we can then we get a window in to their own internal subjective experience. So can’t assume 25:03 we can see it that we need to ask. I imagine Jill that there’s at least one 25:08 listener right now that’s thinking okay what’s the question? What’s that question that I need to ask? 25:15 And I would say instead of it being any one question, it’s about um utilizing a 25:23 process and this is in the book when you look at the screening and assessment where we pull together a history where 25:29 the clinician pulls together their clinical observations and then includes um different informal and formal tools. 25:37 So this may be formal screening measures. This may also be the use of 25:43 books and cards and it’s ways of asking a um is this something that you’ve 25:49 experienced? Is this true or not true for you? Not leading but instead opening 25:54 the door for the child to be able to connect, become curious, and share the information. Finding a therapist 26:02 Yeah. And to add to what you’re saying, Jill, um I believe it takes about three 26:09 to 15 years for a client to finally find a therapist that begins to ask these 26:16 questions and that understands the association and then ask, “Have you ever 26:21 experienced this?” Uh what do you do? What does the mind do? What do you do when uh you’re going through turmoil or 26:30 what where does the mind go when things don’t go well? So when you ask some of 26:37 them will respond. Some of them of course they have been stigmatized or rejected or even punished by talking 26:46 about the voices they hear in sight for example or their symptoms associated 26:52 with dissociation. So is asking and then how do we ask how do we contextualize it 26:59 and how we create a safe environment how we create 27:04 cocreate safety moment to moment so we create the space and we we work on that 27:11 you know creating safety in the interubjective field so the the child 27:17 adolescent uh can feel safe speaking about it I’m going to use an analogy that that came from a client. So, a 27:25 client said to me, you know, in in some of my therapeutic sessions in other places, I felt like the wind was so 27:33 strong that I had to hold on to my jacket even more. Um, but then I’m 27:40 experiencing now the sun. The sun is out. It’s nice and warm. So, now I can 27:45 take my jacket off. And so clients, a lot of clients exposed to complex 27:50 traumatization, they come with very strong systems of self-p protection. 27:56 And of course, that’s what we experience first, the soldiers, the squad team, the protection. And when we begin to honor 28:03 everything the child has done for survival and we sit with them in that 28:10 moment of you know co-creating relational safety then we can explore 28:15 right what’s happening underneath with compassion with attunement with 28:21 reciprocity in in co-regulation and then we can support the the mind the 28:29 embodiment mind of the child to really say okay here here I am this is me right 28:35 and and through this repetitive experiences with the other then we can 28:42 provide corrective experiences for this child 28:47 as you both are speaking I am I’m aware that many clinicians in our field 28:56 uh express fear about what happens when the dissociative 29:04 parts emerge in the therapy session or 29:10 how to work with I know that the the handbook is to support the understanding 29:16 and and how to work with why do you think it’s so challenging for therapists 29:21 or why do you think it lands as such a scary thing for therapists to think about I’m in a session and my client’s 29:29 in dissociative protective response or their dissociative parts and patterns have 29:35 emerged in the room. Why do you think that’s so scary for clinicians? 29:42 I want to I want to reflect a little bit on my my own journey and myself and what happened for me and the fear that I felt 29:51 as I was working with children and this emerged in the space and 29:57 we never talked about this in my training. you know, I I left graduate 30:03 school and didn’t feel wholly prepared at all to be going into the field and went out and sought clinical training 30:08 and there was a little bit of discussion about trauma, but there wasn’t a lot of discussion about complex or 30:14 developmental trauma. There was no discussion about dissociation. And so when it emerged, it was almost like the 30:20 first time that I was experiencing it. And for me, I then reacted to that through my own lens and my own 30:27 experience, freezing and not knowing what to do and going to this place of feeling myself inadequate, not knowing 30:35 what to do as a therapist. And so, you know, I think if we were able to start 30:41 having these discussions earlier on and speaking about the incredible ways in which the mind can protect, create 30:48 distance, and can function. I think that people may not have the same experiences 30:56 when it emerges in the space be because it becomes a consideration. This may be how my client has learned to cope and 31:03 how their mind has organized things. And then when I think about, you know, why 31:08 don’t we hear about this? I think that we inherently still live in a society where it still feels very difficult to 31:16 talk about how dissociation comes to be. I think it’s still hard to have discussions about child maltreatment. We 31:23 talk about if we have to talk about dissociation, we have to talk about where it comes from. And I think we 31:28 still struggle with that. And I believe there’s hope. And that’s part of what the book brings. But 31:36 I I think, you know, when it emerges, it can become quite jarring. And 31:42 we just didn’t expect it and never learned about it. Fear of the unknown 31:47 I I was thinking um that like you said Jill, I think that lack of understanding 31:55 of what is dissociation, the roots and the heart and the essence of complex 32:00 trauma creates some fear of the unknown. What do I do? This feels it seems weird. 32:06 And of course, Hollywood made, you know, didn’t make it easy for us because of 32:13 course it um made it quite pathological and crazy and weird and uh the fear of 32:21 the unknown. The thing about therapy though is that a place where we live the 32:27 Yes. The more the landscape. Yes. More we embrace the unknown with reverence, 32:34 right? and knowing that it’s okay to be there. Um, so um, psychotherapists 32:40 sometimes believe that therapy is delivering this room. We always know what to do. And I I think no matter how 32:47 many years you’ve been doing therapy, you’re going to tap into the unknown. 32:52 And the belief that psychotherapy is this neat and nice process without turbulence I would say is naive because 33:02 psychotherapy is messy as it is our human experience. We can’t expect 33:09 orderly processes as we deliver treatment. So um I would say it is 33:15 important that we don’t fear the association but it’s important that we respect it and honor it right because in 33:22 the field sometimes we see two extremes one whereas you know it’s very nuanced 33:29 by fear don’t go there be careful don’t work if with this child if the child is 33:35 dissociative or don’t use certain therapeutic approaches and the other extreme is ah you go for it you you 33:42 know, uh, just jump in, go for trauma work. And I don’t think I mean that 33:49 neither of the two extremes really support children in healing. I think that we need to get acquainted, 33:57 understand it, learn about it, feel comfortable with it, and also comfortable with the unknown. And 34:04 second, honor it and respect it as well. So we take our time to truly understand 34:11 how this child has been internally structured by the environment. We 34:17 understand um the child as a you know we understand 34:24 the cognitive the emotional the somatic the behavioral elements that emerge 34:29 moment to moment and and then I think we all have the 34:35 we have the um an important job which is we need to 34:43 read about it. We need to go to trainings. we need to get consultation. That’s how most of us jumped into this 34:51 field. Um I remember I had a client, it was actually an adult where I had no one 34:58 to refer to and I didn’t know how to work with dissociation. So at that point 35:04 I said to myself, okay, you need to go get consultation, get training, read and 35:10 understand it so you can support the healing of this client. And I think this 35:16 is one of my advices to the field. I think it’s time that we all take ownership. We take responsibility 35:23 and and and began the process of change in this paradigm that is not about fear 35:29 and dissociation, but it’s not also about just jump in and don’t be afraid 35:34 of it. We have to honor and respect it as well. Yeah. Beautiful. I want to um Call to action 35:41 name a piece that I observe and I would love you both if you want to add to it or say something different or however uh 35:50 I I think that there’s also a call to action too for therapists around 35:55 recognizing that complex trauma is activating and that it’s actually really 36:01 normal for a therapist to feel their own inner activation when these topics come 36:08 up in the room or when they’re interacting with um you know these parts within our within our clients. And that 36:15 that that’s that it’s a it’s just a call to action on our own responsibility of 36:20 our own internal our own internal system and our own and our own work. But just 36:26 to normalize like it can be activating. It can bring up our own complex trauma histories. uh it 36:34 can it can trigger our own dissociative patterns. You know, let’s let’s be 36:39 honest, therapists might also have the same patterns, have similar 36:44 patterns, have their own way of that they’ve learned how to be safe in this world and and that uh so I think this is 36:51 honoring of the client and also honoring of the therapist too. Like this book might actually be about the therapist 36:56 too. Lisa, I want to thank you for saying that because one of the things that I 37:02 learned not just about this idea of dissociation in write in as we were writing and editing, but I actually 37:09 began to learn more about myself as a child. And it was it was a whole another 37:16 level of experience for me to be able to turn towards understand different ways 37:22 of being myself as a child and understanding myself in the room with my clients. Now when things happen inside 37:29 of me, when I have an urge to move towards, to pull away from, when I get 37:35 scared, when I move into my own coping strategies that move me right out of connection in the space um so I think 37:42 that that’s really really important to name that it’s not just about the clients we work with, it’s it’s also 37:48 about us as human beings and in every chapter especially in the The therapeutic relationship 37:54 the section of approaches different therapeutic approaches. That’s one of 38:00 the things that I notice across the board is that there is greater recognition but there still there’s 38:07 space for additional work greater recognition of the person of the therapist and that in this therapeutic 38:15 encounter there is an incredible possibility of there is a field of 38:20 possibilities for healing and that in that relational ecosystem with the 38:25 therapist then healing whatever approach you use is possible. And I think Jill, 38:31 you wrote an incredibly amazing chapter on the therapeutic relationship. And 38:38 again, throughout multiple chapters, we all address the importance of 38:44 co-creating relational safety, providing 38:49 uh relational, you know, corrective experiences. And that begins with ourselves, you know, the connection to 38:57 our own nervous system to notice and and Lisa, I know you teach extensively about 39:02 this, but noticing how the child is giving us information and data by what 39:11 we feel in the nervous system, right? By what’s emerging for us. And certainly 39:17 the more we recognize how humanity exists in each of us and that we may 39:23 have all the knowledge, we still need that empty space that is there to 39:30 receive moment to moment the data and the information that is emerging from 39:36 the embodied mind of the child that we have in front of us. That’s very very rich uh data you know. So being that you 39:44 know human in front of the child that we’re working with. Yeah. So beautiful. 39:50 Um I would love to let everyone know where they can get this book. So who 39:57 would who would like to share where where individuals can go and get this book? So this book can be purchased if you go Where to buy 40:04 online. You can find it through the publishers’s website which is through Rutwich. Um you can also find it on 40:10 Amazon. And in doing a quick search, I’ve noticed it’s on a variety of different bookstores as well. So for 40:16 folks in Canada, you can also get it at Cversham Book Sellers, which is both on-site um and online and is readily 40:24 available at different bookstores online. Beautiful. Um, I truly believe 40:31 that this is just one of those books that is uh just necessary for clinicians 40:38 to have uh in their and I say collection, but when I say collection, 40:44 we know that we collect books and we don’t read them. That’s not what this book is. This is not one of those books 40:49 that you collect because it looks nice and pretty and you put it on the shelf. This book is filled with so much uh so 40:56 much wisdom, so much knowledge, and it’s just one of those books that I think is important that clinicians return to time 41:04 and time again. There may be a piece that feels relevant in one moment and then relevant the next moment and re 41:10 because it’s just it’s so the the depth and breadth that you cover is just it’s 41:15 just so beautiful. Um, I want to thank both of you again for shedding light on 41:21 a topic that needs attention, for pushing the understanding and pushing 41:28 our field forward for the understanding around complex trauma dissociation, for 41:35 being an advocate for the kids and families uh where this is their lived uh 41:41 lived experience. you’ve um you’ve you’ve created something quite quite 41:47 significant for for clinicians and for children and families. I just want to thank you both. 41:55 Thanks, Lisa. Thanks for creating this space for us for having this conversation because this is all a part 42:02 of moving our field forward and you you 42:07 are someone that is right there in the middle in the trenches supporting the 42:12 healing of our children advocating for them being the voice of many of our kids 42:18 that don’t have a voice in our system. So, I appreciate very much your 42:23 invitation and to be here with Jill. It’s just a treat. 42:29 Couldn’t say it better myself. Thank you so much, Lisa, for having us um and allowing us to share and be together in 42:35 the space. Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful. So listeners wherever uh you are in the 42:41 world as you are with us in this discussion may I remind you that you are 42:48 important you are significant you are the most important toy in the 42:54 playroom. Take care of yourself. Um, and until next time.