Perfectionism in the playroom shows up in a variety of ways. But beneath the need to be perfect sits a child’s uncertainty about themselves. The key to regulating this fear and anxiety is showing the child how to come back to who they truly are.

2:07 How does perfectionism show up in play?

3:40 Anxiety is often attached to perfectionism

4:30 Within anxiety is fear

5:35 Perfectionism is the strategy the child is using to be able to manage the anxiety and fear they are experiencing inside

6:05 Noticing language around perfectionism

7:30 This may be a result of a past experience where the nervous system was activated

8:00 Perfectionism may help the child regulate when fear arises

9:00 Supporting the child in staying with themselves

10:59 How can we help the perfectionist child co-regulate?

13:20 The Setup or the Offering, a Synergetic Play Therapy tenet

14:50 The therapist as the external regulator

15:30 How can we model to children?

18:00 Teaching the child to look in

Interested in learning more about regulation? Registration for the Online Introduction to Synergetic Play Therapy is open. Class begins January 21, 2020!