Sibling Rivalry: The Inevitable Childhood Conflict

Parents often want their children to get along, a family environment void of argument. But the sibling dynamic is one in which disagreement is unavoidable. This isn’t always a bad thing – conflict leads to empowerment and growth.

1:12 Lisa introduces the Lessons from the Playroom series

1:45 Lessons from the Playroom Membership

2:20 A message of gratitude

3:02 The Lessons from the Playroom Podcast is now heard in over 90 countries

3:51 Sibling rivalry is part of family dynamics

4:10 Parents often feel as though there should be no sibling rivalry

5:18 The idea that kids won’t fight sets the stage for disappointment

6:00 A family without conflict will attract conflict from the outside

7:21 Conflict is a universal law; it’s impossible to live in a one-sided experience

8:00 Why is sibling rivalry so challenging?

8:30 What are some of the reasons behind sibling rivalry?

9:50 How does dysregulation play a role? How can conflict be regulating?

10:30 How does boredom play a role?

11:21 Sibling pairs often come in opposites

12:14 Looking at the family dynamic as one nervous system

13:30 Assume that conflict is necessary

14:40 How can sibling rivalry be viewed as a mirror and growth process?

17:00 The Set-Up in Synergetic Play Therapy

18:43 How can parents handle sibling rivalry?

20:15 Why should parents refrain from intervening?

21:00 Trusting children to work out their own issues with each other

22:15 Sibling rivalry is never just one sibling picking on the other

22:40 Parents as mediators instead of judges